I have one daughter. She is 6. When I look at her I see nothing but pure and utter joy. She is nothing short of beautiful, both inside and out. The love that I have for her is amazing and nothing that I thought I would ever experience or feel.
Before I had C, I had all of the answers. I would never let her do …this and I would always make sure she did…that. I was that person, that non-parent that knew exactly how to parent. C was a surprise. Not the “Oh my I am pregnant” surprise, but the “I thought for sure you were going to be a boy” surprise. The day she was born, I changed, as we all do when we have children.
I am not sure that everyone is quite as anxious as I am, in fact, I know that this is not the case. I have this fear. A few years ago, I went through a time when I was going through some diagnostic tests and while everything turned out fine, it very well could have gone the other way. Through that time, I cried myself to sleep many nights wondering what my children would do without a mother.
I thought a lot and I still do. I think often of what I would tell my children if I had a warning that I would not be with them forever, if our time was limited. There are those things that I have to teach them, her. Sure, I teach her things everyday, but there are some things that need to wait, ones that she won’t yet understand. Like that girls are just mean sometimes, that when she grows up, she will be glad that she sticks to her gut feeling and does the right thing. These are hard to teach a 6-year-old in the depth that I would want take them.
So, here starts my series on The Things I Want My Daughter To Know. (Just in case…)
You Deserve the Best
Since the day that you were born, you have been a life filled with nothing but love. You wear your heart on your sleeve, you care so deeply about others, and you are a genuine little person that wants nothing more than to make others happy, and for them never to be sad. As you go through life, make sure that you find friends, boyfriends, and finally a partner in life that shares those same wants.
There is nothing more important than finding someone that will love you just as much as you love them. Nothing more important than sharing a love so strong that it can rise above any of the struggles that you may go through. Find that love. Make sure that you find that person that you can picture yourself swinging on an old porch swing with as you watch your great-grandchildren play in the yard. But not just that. Make sure that you can picture holding hands with that person and talking. Because no matter where life takes you. Whether it is scraping together money to make rent or using leftovers well into the week because you don’t have enough cash for groceries, in the end, the one thing that will matter the most are those moments together. It doesn’t take money to find love. Love won’t come easy, but you’ll know when you find it. Follow your heart and nothing else. You, and only you, will know. Do not let others tell you what to look for. You know.
Make sure that the person that you choose to love loves you back for who you are. Make sure that they respect you, that they tell you every single day how much you mean to them, and if for some reason they can’t tell you, you can look at them and see it.That person is out there. Make sure that when you feel absolutely terrible about yourself, because that will happen, even if it’s just once, that this person is there to pick you up and tell you otherwise.
Your father and I are so deeply in love. I hope that we are able to show you what that looks like. He has always told me that there is nothing more important than showing our children our love for each other. Every day when he comes in from work, he makes sure to kiss each one of us and tell us that he loves us. No matter what we are doing or where we are, there is nothing more important than that exchange, every single day. You are lucky and I hope that you find nothing less than what I have found. We are not perfect. We will never claim to be, but our love is perfect. We work on it every single day because it means just that much to us. It will be your grandchildren that we are watching in our front yard while we are holding hands.
After you find love, because I know you will, have fun being in love, because you never know when your memories will have to sustain you. Though there will be times when you feel like life is too crazy, too busy to enjoy it, make sure you take some time to step back and realize just what you have found.
I’ll say it again. Don’t stop looking until you have found it, that love. Don’t settle. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that you have found it just because everything else seems right.If you don’t have that feeling, then all the other things won’t matter. You will find it because you are you, and you deserve the best.
* I am linking up to Motivation Monday today on A Life in Balance! Be sure to check it out for some motivating posts:)