Things I Want My Daughter to Know – Being Different


I have been writing this series as a way to record all of those life lessons that I strive to teach my daughter. Lessons that she will learn over time. If you missed the first few installments of Things I Want My Daughter to Know, you can catch up with You Deserve the Best here and No Excuses here, and Friends here.

Dear C,

I was helping in your class at school the other day. Your teacher was telling you the story of Little Lumpty (the sequel to Humpty Dumpty). After telling the story, she proceeded to describe a “Write and Create” activity that you would be doing. Your class was to depict a picture of Little Lumpty and then give an alternate ending in the writing box below. Your teacher showed you her example and off you and your classmates went to your tables to begin your projects. Of course after splitting off from the large group, everyone began with their pictures. As you drew your wall, you were in your own world, completely oblivious to what was going on around you (classic Caroline :-) ). What you didn’t realize was that every other person at your table drew exactly what the teacher had shown as her example. They drew a brick wall with clearly defined bricks. You did not do that. You colored in your wall a solid brown. Standing there, I knew that it was exactly what you envisioned and you went for it. Sure, it was different, but it was still a wall.

A minute passed, and as you were ferociously coloring your paper brown, a boy at your table looked over and saw what you were doing. He very loudly said, “That is SO messy.”

I stood behind your table watching the whole scene unfold. Your face dropped. For a single second you were mortified. At that moment, I jumped in and said, “She is just being creative.” To which that boy replied, “Well it is messy.” You then said, “It is just different.”

In retrospect, I should have stood back and let you handle the whole thing, but that moment hurt and mamma bear felt like she needed to jump in.

You handled that situation though, just the way that we have taught you. And I was proud. Very proud.

What was most important to me as I reflected upon this scene over and over again since last week was that you had a vision and you went for it. That is you, C, you always have a vision. You have a very specific way that you like things done. That is a trait that is difficult to come by in this world. Not everyone has that. I will give your father credit for that one as that is his style, and he sure doesn’t like anyone messing with his vision.

I hope that you keep those visions that you have, that you see how important it is to follow through with them, and know that it is okay, in fact more than okay, it’s wonderful to be different. You will never be called boring, C, because you are the farthest from following someone else’s lead that you could possibly be. As you grow older and start entering into conversations with classmates and friends, just like the one that you encountered today, it will be harder and harder to go against the norm. It’s far easier just to go along with what everyone else is doing. But once again, the easy road isn’t necessarily the best. Take the hard road, it will pay off in the end.

When I was growing up, I was more of a follower than a leader. I stayed away from being different because I had a hard time embracing confrontations, even friendly ones. As I grow older, I realize more and more how important and amazing that gift of clear vision is, how important it is to just be you. I still to this day have a difficult time with being different and care way too much about what other people think about me. You teach me something every day, and one of the greatest things that you have taught me so far in this life of yours, it is that being different, being creative, having a vision, is a wonderful way to be. You don’t care what other people think about you. As your mom, it has been and always will be my biggest priority to let you be you without trying to change it. You will do great things, C. I have said that from day one of being your mother. You are a leader. Don’t change for anyone, be different.



I am SO excited to be a part of Motivation Monday! Started by Barb Hoyer from A Life in Balance and Stephanie from Confessions of a Stay at Home Mom, I have enjoyed reading this link-up for a long time now. It is a great way to start the week!


Please link up your post here! A post that motivates you to be a better you, a better person. This inspiration is different for all of us, some are on a physical journey, some on an emotional one, either way, share your motivation with us…we would love to read! Read through some others that are linked up. You never know where you will find some words of wisdom or even an encouraging idea.


About Lauryn Blakesley

A woman out to explore, celebrate, and enjoy everything that my community and living locally has to offer. Blessed with three beautiful children and an incredible husband, our family embraces adventure while dreaming of what is to come. Lover of knitting, running (although mostly after little ones right now), the color orange, fun accessories, fall, tea, and a clean kitchen floor. I spend my days in awe of my family and trying to teach my three to treat others as they would want to be treated.

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  1. I love this. It’s so hard to combat the herd mentality. I hope she always does her own thing! :-)
    Jo-Lynne Shane {Musings of a Housewife} recently posted…{Gluten Free} Weekly Menu 04.08.13My Profile

  2. It takes a long time to discover that uniqueness is a valuable trait. Some day that little boy will realize it and he’ll probably ask her to prom.
    Jeannette recently posted…South Moon Under at the Promenade – Press PartyMy Profile

  3. What a great post, Lauryn! Your daughter is going to love reading these!
    Lindsay recently posted…Mastering the Mommy TrackMy Profile

  4. I swear, every time I read one of your posts I get all misty-eyed. This is beautiful advice, and sadly, advice more mothers should have been giving their children for a long time.
    Nicole @ One Punky Mama recently posted…Spring ThankfulnessMy Profile

    • Thank Nicole! And I totally agree…I feel like every mother should teach their children to be themselves (which is ultimately different:))

  5. I love this post so much! My dd6 often marches to the beat of her own drum when it comes to clothes. She’s taught me so much about embracing what I love. Isn’t it amazing? We think we’re teaching them when so often, they teach us.
    Barb @ A Life in Balance recently posted…motivation monday: look at a problem as an opportunityMy Profile

  6. Great message! Especially for girls!
    Becky recently posted…Healing Touch and Being PresentMy Profile

  7. So, so true. Creative people are few and far between…I am so glad both of you are embracing her unique way of thinking.
    Heather S. recently posted…Springtime + Sun = Minted InspirationMy Profile

  8. I love this. I have always been different and have learned to embrace it. It comes with being creative, I agree.

    That’s why I always, always tear up when Steve Jobs commercial for Apple Think Different comes on the TV.
    Musings on Motherhood and Midlife recently posted…Make Little Girls’ Voices CarryMy Profile

  9. LOVE THIS!!! I can’t even imagine how hard it was to hear another kid tell your little girl her project is messy!! It made my heart fall… LOVE C! So glad she is who she is and I hope my girls have some of that b/c I am exactly as you are with caring too much what others think, etc. Oh why do they have to grow up?! Why can’t we put them in bubbles?! lol

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