Things I Want My Daughter to Know – About the Word Fat


I have been writing this series as a way to record all of those life lessons that I strive to teach my daughter. Lessons that she will learn over time. If you missed the first three installments of Things I Want My Daughter to Know, you can catch up with You Deserve the Best here and No Excuses here, and Friends here.


There are many uses for the word fat. Let’s go over two of them.

Fat can be used as a scientific term. It is a part of your diet, always will be. There are different types of fat that you eat and you will learn about them later in life. In a health or science class, or actually probably before that when you question me about it which happens often. :-) There is fat on each and every one of us. It is necessary for our survival. I am sure someday I will teach you to understand that a good nutritional balance is important and fat in your diet is important as well. Please don’t go on the fat-free kick unless it is fruits and veggies and naturally fat-free foods. It isn’t worth it in the end. Believe me, been there, done that. And I am sure you will too {cringe}…

Feel free to use the word fat when speaking scientifically and nutritionally as much as you want.

Fat can also be used in a derogatory way, like in calling another person or yourself fat. Please don’t ever use the word fat in this way. It is never okay.

You will probably call yourself fat at some point in your life. I have . But since the day you were born, I have not. I made a promise to myself that when I had a daughter, I would never set an example for her that degrading yourself in such a meaningless way is okay.

You may even call someone else fat in your lifetime. I hope you don’t. Someone will probably call you or someone that you care deeply about fat at some point in your life as well, and that will hurt. Calling someone fat is easy. It is an easy way to get a reaction and show your disdain or dislike. Like in many other situations, don’t ever take the easy way out. It is much harder to express your feelings to yourself or others and do something constructive about it than to tear someone down with that terrible word. The hard way, the right way, will be worth it in the end.

Here is what I hope: I hope that you will have the sense of self about you to realize that what you are is what you are. As cliche as it may sound, it really is what is on the inside that counts. If and when someone calls you fat, at the playground, behind your back when you “accidentally” hear, or even right to your face, I hope that you will be strong enough to put it behind you and realize that those words are coming from a dark place inside that person. They are coming from a place where that person does not look fondly enough upon themselves to treat others with the kind of respect that they deserve. They took the easy way out. Calling someone fat is disrespectful, and them calling you fat is not really about you. It is about them. But as easy as this is for me to say now, when the time comes, being called fat will bring you down, even if just for a fleeting moment. It never feels good.

Right now C, you are full of innocence, and in many ways, I would love to place you in a bubble and keep you oblivious to the things and words that will hurt you later in life. But I cannot. I should not. I talked about friends earlier, and because I can’t protect you from what other people do and say, I hope that you will surround yourself with people that will boost you up, not bring you down. I pray that you will be blessed to spend time with people that will understand that everyone is different, some overweight, some underweight, it doesn’t matter. My wish is that your friends will support you for who you are, without trying to change you. I also talked about finding that special someone that will respect you. Your father would never call me fat, make me feel fat, or ever tolerate me treating myself that way either. Find someone that will treat you the same way.

You see, fat is not a word that describes a person’s intelligence, creativity, self-assurance, independence, or sense of purpose. And those are the things that matter. No matter what you look like, make sure that you are healthy enough to live every day to the fullest so that you can achieve the amazing, wonderful, and important things that your father and I know that you can.


I am SO excited to be a part of Motivation Monday! Started by Barb Hoyer from A Life in Balance and Stephanie from Confessions of a Stay at Home Mom, I have enjoyed reading this link-up for a long time now. It is a great way to start the week!



Please link up your post here! A post that motivates you to be a better you, a better person. This inspiration is different for all of us, some are on a physical journey, some on an emotional one, either way, share your motivation with us…we would love to read! Read through some others that are linked up. You never know where you will find some words of wisdom or even an encouraging idea.

About Lauryn Blakesley

A woman out to explore, celebrate, and enjoy everything that my community and living locally has to offer. Blessed with three beautiful children and an incredible husband, our family embraces adventure while dreaming of what is to come. Lover of knitting, running (although mostly after little ones right now), the color orange, fun accessories, fall, tea, and a clean kitchen floor. I spend my days in awe of my family and trying to teach my three to treat others as they would want to be treated.

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  1. Great post, I too have a young daughter (who is the tiniest in her grade…she’s always been small) and can remember her saying something about one of her friends legs being skinnier than hers in 1st grade (now 3rd). I was stunned. I never talk about things like that in a negative way. I also do my best to give her a positive body image and promote balanced eating.
    Colleen (Souffle Bombay) recently posted…Mashed Potato PieMy Profile

    • It is the best thing that we can do for them, “I never talk about things like that in a negative way. I also do my best to give her a positive body image and promote balanced eating.”!

  2. Wow that was awesome! I love how you wrote it..what a great lesson, and as the mother of girls, I appreciate how difficult it is to teach them good body image in this world.
    Gina B recently posted…Grateful for What I HaveMy Profile

    • It is so hard! And in my case (as my daughter is only 6), it is just going to get harder…(says the mom who is trying to be prepared;)

  3. I really like the idea of special messages for your daughter!
    Janeane Davis recently posted…Action: Take Action Now to Improve Your Business’ Financial HealthMy Profile

  4. Such a great post. I have 3 kiddos, with body types on both ends of the spectrum. My older son has to wear slims because he’s so thin, and my younger son wears husky sizes. My daughter is “average” and we constantly stress the fact that calling out someone being “too skinny” or “too heavy” isn’t cool. It can hurt either way.
    Nicole @ One Punky Mama recently posted…Mini Chocolate Chip MuffinsMy Profile

    • I agree Nicole! It does hurt either way…we shouldn’t be judging on body type no matter which side of the spectrum it is on. Thank you!!

  5. In our culture it is so hard to send a good message to our daughters about weight. My daughter is 11, so conversations about weight and body changes are big right now with us. She has a lot of questions about the changes her and her friends are going through. I try to talk to her about different body types, and that models are a certain body type… picked because they are easy to fit clothes on, but that real women come in all shapes and sizes. I love the example of Michele Obama because she has a very round, large frame body type that could easily be heavy, and her example of eating healthy and exercising regularly gives girls a great role model for what a real healthy woman’s body can look like.
    Diane Balch recently posted…Weekly Menu PlanMy Profile

    • You are so right. We are not yet at the point yet where questions are being asked which is why I feel like it is so important to teach her to embrace who she is no matter her size. I want to make sure that we set a good example before we get there so that there is a base already established. I love your example of Michelle Obama. She is truly a role model in so many ways…

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